We try to lead logical responsible lives.
We try and keep ourselves safe from anguish and pain.
But sometimes our hearts take over.
Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never dreamed we’d be.
Our hearts are tender, and can make us feel alive, and confused and angry, and at peace all at once.
I have been to all those places.
I have been taken where I never dreamed I would go.
I have been thrown about in a world of confusion, doubt and anger.
I have also felt that peace, that caring, that overwhelming joy that is often unexplainable.
I have been hurt.
I sometimes it feels like the world is going to end. Like I can’t go on.
Like my heart has literally been shattered into a million tiny, irreparable pieces.
But at least I know my heart is open.
At least I know I can still feel all the emotions it can instil in us all.
At least I haven’t grown hard.
At least I’m optimistic that I wont be left behind.
At least I am still breathing.
And that, makes me want to love again.
And I know I will.
I can’t predict when.
I can’t predict who with.
I can’t even predict where I will be on our great planet.
And I know, that even though I have been hurt before, I will not let past experiences taint new ones.
We all have the proverbial skeletons in our closets.
I will not compare.
I will not judge.
I will accept faults, and I will not try to change anyone.
We are individual and should stay that way.
I will love hard.
I will love strong.
I will not hide it.
I will be, as I have been before, devoted.
I will love in honesty.
Perhaps I sound like an idiot as you read this, but that doesn’t bother me.
I’m writing as I always do, ironically, from the heart.
And I hope at least some of this is a reflection on how you feel too.
‘I am what I am.
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I was asked a simple question by a friend..
“Have you ever had the feeling that the world does not need you?
I don’t claim to know all the answers, I’m still trying to figure out why we are the way we are myself. and why we insist on treating those close to us with little regard for feelings and such (In general). This was my response (slightly edited for you)..
****Actually, yeah, I have.
But in the same thought, even though I don’t feel I have anything to offer the world at present, except my goofiness, and plain idiotic blondness with my approach to things, I make folks smile, and laugh. (Which is my main goal in life)
So maybe the world, although cruel for the most part, does need me in some way. Just as it needs you for things you may think are insignificant – but equally as important as my antics – to others, though they may not acknowledge it. I dunno if that makes any sense to you.
All I know is, there are two ways we can go through life, either a cynic, who stands back and waits for things to happen to them, and are often thwart with bad luck..or as an optimist, making things happen, accepting folks for all their vices and good qualities..and appreciating the full impact of a smile. And how it can brighten others days, as well as our own.
Make the little things count. Don’t try for any elitism or grandeur. Appreciate how much folks do care for you, although often unsaid. And return the feeling. Show it where possible.
A smile, even when talking on the telephone, can be sensed by the person at the other end. It’s contagious. It’s worth it. I live by it.
A simple impulsive hug says a thousand things, without the need to utter a word.
Life throws nasty stuff at us. Deal with it, move on, tackle the next challenge.
Anyway, this is full of psycho babble from someone that isn’t trained, even remotely in the field, so I’ll shut up before it gets worse, and even more drively.
Cup half full, or half empty, which way do you view it?****
That was it.
In my usual manner, I didn’t stop to think about (or in my case, over think) the question put to me. It’s the way I achieve total honesty.
Does it make sense to you guys?
Or am I talking outta my rear?
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